The Plague Returns

Found a cool article the other day, This one courtesy of the folks over at Rocky Mountain News:

***For Immediate release***

WARNING: BUBONIC PLAGUE RISES IN BOULDER COUNTY

Boulder, Colorado is now undergoing a major inspection after authorities recently discovered an alarming outbreak of the Bubonic Plague. The Plague, also know as The Black Death, is a highly contagious bacterial infection caused by contact with another infected person or animal. The Bubonic Plague was responsible for the death of over a third of the world's population in the 14th and 15th centuries.
A team of Wildlife Specialists from the US Department of Fish and Game are currently investigating the outbreak, but experts say that the situation is extremely grim. "Especially in Boulder, where humans have disrupted mother nature's intentions, the environment is so susceptible to disease. The bubonic plague could have astronomical impacts on everything." said local pathologist Susan Dean. The containment of the outbreak is another problem because, the bacterium responsible for transmitting the plague is a mutation of previous forms and a cure could take months or even years to find.
As if residents don't have enough to worry about already, this mutation of the bacteria has resulted in an airborne strain, which makes it all the more contagious and possibly deadly.
Ironically enough, the only group of humans who have been infected are cyclists. Particularly Mountain Bikers. In a recent interview, Christopher Barrow, a member of the Boulder Mountain Bike Alliance, said he is so afraid of getting the plague, he has quit bicycling entirely.
Experts say that typical symptoms include a disgust of bicycles with multiple gears, and urges to destroy things such as derailleurs and cassettes. This can progress to a deep seated contempt for lazier cyclists, leg hair growth, and allergies to lycra. Although there is no way to stop the Black Death, families are urged to keep children indoors and avoid the use of "singlespeeds" (bikes with only one gear) due to the fact that this aids contraction of the disease.



The Plague Returns, 2008...